This is seriously uncalled for. I know that it's a karmic lesson because NO ONE is available to talk and I'm getting closer and closer to the brink...and really should be studying. Blech.
I just want him to call. He said he would...why hasn't he? What the hell am I supposed to be learning here? Is it: I'm ok on my own.
I can't rely on others to bring me happiness.
Even if I try REALLY REALLY hard, not everything I want will happen...
Time to be a strong independent girl? Boo to that I say.
I'm just not feeling this. I want my Ryan. I want my Dink. I feel like I'm SO close but...he just keeps slipping away and all I'm left with is a file of pictures, amazing memories, and stinging eyes.
Hang in there Devon... I love you so so much. You are beautiful and amazing and so absolutely wonderful. You once wrote me at the worst time in my life, "Tomorrow Will Come". It was so simple and yet I still have it posted in my room to look at everyday... It gave me something to focus on then and it still holds true to today. It's hard and it's awful and the memories are always there to haunt and sometimes hurt you, but know that you are strong. You've overcome worse things. You've been stronger in situations where others have fallen. I believe in you and I know for a fact that tomorrow will come. Your penguin is out there somewhere and when he finally waddles in, this will all be a distant memory. I know it...
ReplyDeleteI love you so much darling---here is a hug from a couple hundred miles away!