Epic Fails Of The Male Race

I would like to file a formal complaint...against whom? Boys of the world...those dick-ish, stupid, think with the wrong head boys.

One might ask what has me all riled up...I'm here to tell you about just a few small examples of the masses of idiotic things 'boys' have accomplished over the eons of time. Let's start at the beginning shall we?

Adam...of Adam and Eve...I'm pretty sure he was the one who munched on a yummy apple. It's always the guys messing things up of course.

King Henry VIII...while deliciously hot in The Tudors...kind of a douche in his time. Beheading is not so nice. Just saying. Neither is banishing...

Hitler...serious issues...liked to pee on girls...creepy...among other things

George Bush (Jr. and Sr.) Copy-catting names of an idiot man to his son never turns out well. Exhibit A:...nuff said

South Carolina Senator, Mark Sanford - Argentinian affair...don't cry for me. (If anyone gets that you've made my day)


Have I made my case yet? No, here are more details of interest:

Women live longer than men...why? So that we have a few years of sanity at the end.

Kids...they come out of women (gross, btw) why? Guys whine too much and are just generally less pleasant to be around when grumpy.

Men usually maintain short hair and only shave their faces (if at all)...why? They can't be trusted with a razor or a haircut that requires more than 5 seconds of effort. Please see clothing choices as well.


Point made.


Let's discuss the idiotic boys that wander aimlessly around my life. I'd like to spotlight a personal favorite this evening for closer inspection. Friends, may I present Mark...in all his cocky, little boy power-struggle glory...or gory? Both...yes both.

Here's a little background for ya:
As you might know, I have recently returned from an epic (in every sense of the word) trip to England and Ireland. I was not, in the least attracted, attracted to the friend (guy) that I went to see.

Mark texted me last night to inquire how I was doing (a likely story of course). I informed him of the fabulous summer I've been having and he proceeded to ask when I was leaving for Europe...already happened. His next question...So did you sleep with him? Just wondering... Since when has that ever been an appropriate thing to ask someone...an ex that you're trying to woo back no less?

The only redeeming moment of that entire interaction was the fact that I responded by informing him that, regardless of the answer, it was simply none of his business.


Ladies, I could certainly go on to discuss a myriad of other stupid boy stories but, for the sake of time and sanity, I shall cease now...one must pace out these delicious stories of absurdity after all.